I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
