And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
