It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
