I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize