we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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