For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I miss vodka workout Fridays
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
