Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
