it wasn't lemon gatorade
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
