i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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