Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
