i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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