i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
