I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
