We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
