Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
