Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
