Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
