Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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