yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
