were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
