Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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