I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
