so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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