At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
