He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize