dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I think people are normalizing furries
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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