Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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