3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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