I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Found your dick twin last night
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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