You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i love accidental penises.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
