She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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