I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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