We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
