Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
