Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
