Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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