So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I party with great urgency now.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
