I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
