im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
