Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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