he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
