Don't you send me to vm
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
