i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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