the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
