that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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