I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
