I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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