Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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