so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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