Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
