i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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