I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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