spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
