alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
