he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
