pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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