She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize