She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
