The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
