Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
