dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
