I'm drive I can fine osifer
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize