I must be too annoying 4 u.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
