Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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